


the song of ice and fire.

by rmartin



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Inspired by Game of Thrones, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-19 10:41:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18134696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rmartin/pseuds/rmartin
Summary: you were wrong to love him.you were wrong to leave him.you know nothing, Kylo Ren.





	the song of ice and fire.

_Night gathers,_ he thinks sourly and breathes in the cold air, burning down his throat and settling inside his lungs, _and now my watch begins._ Kylo Ren is unable to feel his fingers. They are tightly wrapped around the handle of his sword and he keeps avoiding glancing at them. He's heard stories the older men said while their teeth rattled when the deep chills fell. Fingers black as night, flesh burned by frost. There is nothing one can do to save such fingers, nothing but to swing their sword. They say that the wounds won't even bleed. Their blood is already frozen.

“It's getting late,” the boy by his side whispers. His wide eyes momentary stop on Ren's face and then they are moving away, blinking away tears. “I heard that the forest wakes up in the night. Beasts as big as horses walk through the wood.” Ren snickers and his cheeks painfully clench. “Aye,” he murmurs. “Beasts that feed on human flesh.”

The boy bares his teeth once he sees the mocking glint in Ren's eyes but whatever he says gets lost in the shouting. Ren turns his head to the side and raises his hand up to prevent the attack but soon realizes that there are no enemies. Only one. He recognizes Peavey talking to a few other older men, each of them shaking their head lightly. “Hey!” he screams when he moves forward and Peavey looks at him without a word. “What - ?” Ren glances down and at first, sees nothing but red. The boy in front of him is snarling, kicking his legs and making low sounds in the back of his throat that sound like growls of a feral animal. He has bright eyes and coppery hair – the color itself is so rare that it immediately catches Ren's attention.

“You like him?” Peavey comes to stand next to Ren and kicks the boy into the stomach. The boy grunts and rolls on his back. He brings his knees towards his chest and wraps his hands around them. His cheeks flush into an angry shade of red but he makes no other sound except a loud whine. “Those little shits were following us – all four of them. Two are dead. Here, Tritt – “ he pauses and points his finger at the man standing near the others, with a blank face and dark hair falling on his shoulders. “He butchered the first. You should have been there – that Wildling howled like a pig. I took down the other. An arrow into the heart. It was quicker, quicker than he deserved. One ran away. He was lucky I guess, maybe I managed to hit him with an arrow but the darkness was too thick. Tritt claims he found blood in the snow but I am not sure – if I don't see as the arrow pierces the body, I can never be sure if they are dead or now, right?” He grins again and shows his yellow teeth and black tongue. Ren's stomach turns upside down at the sight. “But this one, this one was too pretty to be left rotting in the snow…” The boy screams and starts moving again.

Peavey kneels down and grabs his ankles and holds them in one hand. His head remains turned towards Ren. “Come on, little princeling… show us how it's done.” He reaches forward and hastily tugs at Ren's trousers. Ren suppresses a violent shiver. Instead of an answer, he brings a sword towards Peavey's neck and holds the tip just an inch away from the tender skin. He bares his teeth like he always does when someone calls him a princeling and Peavey freezes. Suddenly they both are aware of just how easy it would be to kill the kneeling man. Peavey lets go of the boy and raises his hands up in the air. His fingers are shaking.

“Are you going to kill me?” he asks, again mocking but his smile falters. “Will I be your first man?” The others humourlessly laugh around them. Tritt straightens and moves forward. “Let him be, lad,” he says quietly. “Let him be before he pisses himself from fear.” His hand lands on Ren's shoulder and he leans closer. “Don't spill blood unless it's necessary. Do not forget, he's your brother now and you have no other family.”

Ren considers it for a moment. “Stand up,” he commands finally with a sigh and Tritt squeezes his shoulder. Ren doesn't look at him, instead, he hauls up the snarling boy from the ground and presses him against his chest. The boy tries to attack him but he keeps him tightly, leaving him no room for a fight. “I'll take this one,” he says after he pulls his sword away and looks directly into Peavey's face. “You were right, he is pretty.” He looks at Tritt. “I am taking the first watch.”

***

The boy stops fighting after Ren drags him away. He lets go of him once they get close to the trees. The boy's clothes are soaked through. He is shaking and his lips turned blue. “Kill me,” he requests and it's the first thing he says. His voice is much softer than Ren expected and it sounds pleasant to his ears. He suddenly feels the burning desire to push this boy to his knees and fuck him like a savage in the snow while he can. He cannot remember the last time he fucked something other than his hand. There's once been Rey who used to come willingly to him at night. Later he discovered that there was something strange about their relationship. Other boys didn't think this way of their sisters. She promised him that it was fine – love is love. And yet it felt wrong when he buried himself inside her. It felt wrong when she was married to another man and yet spent her wedding night with him. The memory of her soft body still lingers. Ren cannot stop thinking how her thighs wrapped around his hips and she tried to pull him closer. Her breath smelled after summer and blossoming flowers. It's a nice memory to keep him warm while he's surrounded by snow and will be for the rest of his life.

“So you speak,” Ren says, not quite surprised. “I was worried you won't be able to understand me.” He kneels down and touches the boy's hair. He cocks his head to the side and stares at Ren with big wide eyes.

“Those are the only words you know?” Ren suddenly asks.

The boy kicks him. “Those were the first words they taught me. If they catch me, my father used to say, ask them for death. That's the only thing they can give to you.” His lips are shaking. Ren feels pity towards him.

“I am not going to kill you.”

“Are you going to fuck me?”

The boy tries to move his hands. The ropes are digging into his skin. “Should I turn around and stick my ass in the air? Should I wriggle a little?” His words are filled with hatred. His eyes never leave Ren's face. There is that defiance inside of them, burning flames and Ren wishes nothing more than to claim him as his own.

“You have red hair – I've seen only a few with such color.”

“They told me I saw kissed by fire,” the boy snickers. “Maybe the fire inside me will burn you if you dare to touch me against my will.” But the threat is empty. Ren wonders if the boy's just as desperate as he's feeling. “Open your mouth,” he says and his finger brushes the boy's lips. The boy doesn't move. Ren doesn't expect him to. He slaps him only once and then uses his other hand to grab the boy's nose. The boy struggles but in the end has to open up his mouth. It's pure instinct. He gasps for the air and Ren sticks his fingers inside the velvet heat. The boy tries to bite him but Ren tugs at his hair. “Don't you dare,” he warns him. “Or I will fuck you dry.”

Saliva is running down the boy's chin. He says nothing, only quietly sits and waits for this to be over. Ren thinks about pulling down his trousers but decides against it. He likes willing partners – he wants to hear the boy to beg for more and not to stop. “Good,” he murmurs when he takes out his fingers and wipes them into the boy's clothes. “Do you have a name?” he asks and the boy frowns. His confusion lasts only for a moment. Then his expression changes again and his features remain once more without a trace of emotion. Even if he has a name, he doesn't want to say it and Ren leaves him be. He leans against the trunk of the tree and folds his hands. “It doesn't matter,” he says with a shrug and then adds: “You should thank me.” The boy remains quiet. Ren's dark eyes turn towards the darkness. He still imagines Rey's small hands cupping him through his trousers.

 ***

The morning light shines through the crowns of the trees. “We found bodies,” Ren says to the boy as they start moving. He walks with the others but his hands are tightly wrapped around the boy's wrist to keep him close. No one dares to say a thing. They all know what could happen to them and they value their life more than a short-lived pleasure of fucking some wild boy from the wrong side of the Wall. “Your friends are dead.” All of them. The boy shrugs as if he was unaffected by it. But Ren can see the pain in his eyes. “Were they your family?”

“They were my lovers,” the boy growls like a feral animal once more. “I let them fuck me over and over again and their seed dripped from me in waves and rivers.”

Ren looks at him. “Good for you,” he says in the end. He knows that the boy is not serious and even if he was, Ren doesn't mind there was someone before him. He takes what he can and a warm body to lie next to him may be his last chance for pleasure. Tomorrow might never come – Ren learned so a long time ago even before he joined the Watch. He quietly observes the wood. He can feel it in his bones, the danger coming for them. He cannot see it yet but he knows it's there, moving closer and closer. There are shadows, broken twigs. Even the boy is aware of something the others don't see. “What is it?” Ren asks the boy. “What's in the forest?” He pauses. “You've seen it, haven't you?” The boy is quiet. He looks down and stares at his bound hands. His fingers are red but the frost still hasn't managed to burn his flesh.

“This a dangerous place,” he says. “Dangerous times. The dead are walking again. I saw it. I saw it with my own eyes.” His voice breaks. He is staring in front of himself. “You are stupid,” he adds. “Ignorant. It's not the living you should fear – but the dead.”

“My nan used to tell me such stories – about dead with burning eyes. Walkers are gone, those are just stories to scare little children and make people aware that the winter is coming and that it's always cruel.” He doesn't think anything of the boy's obvious fear. “Dead are dead,” he says as if to convince himself. “They can never hurt you.”

The boy stops walking. Ren looks at him and is about to say something to make him move when the boy attacks him again. He is not prepared and they both fall into the snow. The boy manages to land a few hits before Ren grabs his wrists and slaps him across the face. Tears are rolling down the boy's cheeks. “You are going to kill us all,” he says. “Kill me or not. But you are going to die, Ren. You and all your friends and all the people you hold dear. They are coming. Coming for you and your family and your world just as they came for mine.”

He starts screaming then but Ren no longer recognizes any words. Tritt grabs the boy by his hair and helps Ren to stand up. Blood is dripping from Ren's nose. Tritt looks at him gravely. “He is a fighter. You took him,” he sternly says to Ren. “Kill him or tame him. The choice is yours – but don't let him kill you first. Because he wants to and he will.” He lets go of the boy and pushes him into Ren's direction. The boy collides with Ren's chest and Ren instinctively wraps his hands around his middle to keep him close. He opens his mouth to speak and blood lands on the tip of his tongue. He spits it out into the snow. “Fuck,” he breathes in heavily the cold morning air and chills run down his spine. He looks at the forest again. The shadows are following them. He sees them clearly now.

 ***

The boy tries to reach for his sword but Ren pushes him back into the snow. The boy opens his mouth to scream. “Give it to me,” he commands but Ren ignores him. Instead, he swings the weapon and the blade cuts through another body now reaching for him. Ren's knees are weak and shaking. The creature on the ground makes a low sound and falls on the ground. He looks around. He hears the sound of screams and smells the blood in the air. The living are falling on the ground. The undead are coming for them from every side. To Ren's horror, the creature he cut down only a few moments ago moves again and reaches for him. The boy by his side marches forward. Ren sees as he reaches into his boot and takes out a small weapon, a sharp piece of a blade. It not only cuts through the creature but through his palm as well. The blood starts dripping on the snow. Ren moves towards him without thinking. “What the hell is that?” he asks.

The boy shrugs. “It kills them,” he whispers. “It's the only thing that kills them.” Ren grabs the boy's forearm and starts dragging him away. The boy screams. “Where are we going?” Ren stops walking and looks at his brothers, the black crows slowly falling down. They are dying and he knows that he won't be able to help them. He doesn't feel heroic. He sees no point in rushing forward and trying to save them. He kisses the boy on his lips. He still has no idea what his name is.

“They are not my brothers,” Ren whispers. His eyes fall on the body lying nearly. He recognizes Tritt's face. His heart skips a beat when he remembers the older man's kindness. Tritt's chest is open and bleeding. And yet his hand twitches and he starts moving. He rises from the snow. The boy's breath hitches and he raises his hands up in the air, keeping his weapon ready. Ren is still holding him close, undecided if he wants to let go of him or not. “Move,” he growls at the boy just when Tritt's head snaps in their direction. The boy nods and for once listens to Ren's commands. They hands brush and Ren expects Tritt to come closer. He can imagine the touch of those cold dead fingers around his neck. But the creature that used to be Tritt just observes him. Ren finds himself wondering if it can remember anything from the life it led before. There is nothing of Tritt's softness in it. Its eyes are burning cold and Ren doesn't dare to think there might a place for mercy inside them. “Come,” the boy pleads and Ren doesn't even have time to notice that the boy won't leave him to die all alone. He looks at the redhead and then back at Tritt.

“Goodbye,” he murmurs. “May the gods be merciful.” Maybe he just imagines it, but the creature nods its head. It doesn't follow them as they run away until the echo of the screams turns into the silence. And yet Ren still cannot get rid of the smell of blood that follows him on every step.

 ***

“Armitage Hux,” the boy says that evening.

Ren's hands are resting on his hips. He murmurs his name between the moan when he feels as Ren's hard cock shifts inside him. Ren nods and closes his eyes. They snap open once he realizes his mistake. He expects the boy to attack him again, maybe bring a knife to his throat. Nothing like that happens. Hux leans down to kiss him and Ren switches their positions. He turns Hux on his stomach and grabs the nape of his neck. He slams inside him and starts moving his hips. In and out. Over and over again. Hux's hands are twitching. He is helpless. He is more beautiful than Rey could ever be, wriggling underneath of Ren. Ren wishes he could swallow him whole. He buries his face in Hux's damp hair and breathes in his smell. He smells after winter and Ren decides he likes it. And he likes Hux's body too, shaking under his touch. “How does it feel?” he asks. Hux mumbles something at first but then he comes screaming: “Good.” Chanting it all over and over again.

They lie next to each other. Ren's hand is resting on Hux's bared stomach. Their skin is burning although the world around them is freezing. The only thing to shield them from cold is Ren's cape. “You were right,” Ren says. “Walkers are real.” Hux is quiet for a long while. His lips are shaking every time he tries to say something.

“I am sorry your brothers died.”

Ren closes his eyes. He hasn't thought of it ever since it happened. He realizes he is not sorry at all. “They were bad people,” he murmurs. “I will not miss them.” He even smiles when he thinks that Peavey is dead now. Maybe he pissed himself moments before the blade cut through his body. Ren only wishes it was him who ended his miserable life and not some corpse that returned from the dead. He never says it to Hux though. “I am a bad person too. You should be scared of me.”

The redhead frowns. “I know no good people,” he says in the end. “Those are weak – and weak have no place in this world.” He stares into the darkness and then reaches for Ren's hand. “Do you have a lover in your world? Someone who's waiting for you?” Ren thinks of Rey. The last time he saw her, she was carrying his child. It makes him laugh. Seven Kingdoms will be ruled by his seed in the end. Poe truly lost. It fills him with satisfaction. Ren though he will miss his sister. She used to be the only thing he's ever loved and yet he wishes nothing more than to stay with Hux forever. He kisses his red hair once he recognizes worry creeping into his voice.

“She is dead to me,” he says calmly and rolls atop Hux. The boy looks at him with bright eyes and smiles when Ren presses a violent kiss against his lips. “We are going to die,” he says the truth and Hux only laughs and laughs.

“All men must die,” he says and brushes Ren's dark hair. “I am not afraid of dying. It won't even hurt,” he says confidently. “I want to see it. I want to see your world before I'll die. I heard you have castles reaching the sky and warm halls, tables with food. I heard there are places where is no snow, only flowers and green grass.” Hux dreamily looks at him and then he pleads. “I want to see it all. I want to see more than this – than snow.”

“You will.”

Ren wonders if he'll be able to keep that promise. He is not good with promises or oaths. Last time he swore one, he broke it merely a year after. _I pledge my life and honor to the Night's Watch._ His fingers ghost over Hux's thighs. “Press them together,” he says and Hux nods eagerly. Ren's fingers are wet and his member is twitching. “You'll have to return,” Hux whispers against his lips and Ren stubbornly ignores him. Only when Hux kisses him he finally nods. “I will have to,” Ren admits. He enters Hux once more and the boy watches him with bright eyes.

“We should stay here,” he says and his red hair is burning around his head. Ren wants to look around but finds himself unable to tear his eyes off Hux's face. Chills run down his spine but his skin is growing hotter by each passing second. “Maybe we should,” he admits in a shaky voice. He imagines it even. Just the darkness, snow and their bodies tangled together as one. He spills inside Hux for the second time that evening and Hux closes his eyes. “I should have killed you,” he murmurs. “Or you should have killed me.”

Ren looks at him strangely. “Maybe,” he says but he doesn't mean it. “But we live.” It's all that matters. He holds Hux close, refusing to let him go. This feels right – to stay here, to die here if it's necessary. Maybe they will find their bodies in the morning. Two lovers holding each other just before the death came for them. He prays to his gods. Ren never tells Hux of them. He wonders if they believe in the same things.

“Why are you here?” Hux asks suddenly. “How did you end up behind the Wall?” Ren closes his eyes and knows that the redhead is watching him.

“I killed my father. My mother wanted to protect me so she sent me here. I was supposed to be King but I didn't want to be .” _I didn't want to._ Rey begged him to stay that last time he fucked her. He refused her. It was the first time he refused her. She started crying then. The next morning  Poe Dameron became the King and she became the Queen. She sent him only one letter. _I am with a child._ It was a confession, a way to bring him back.

 _Good for you._ He's never written her those words. Let her wonder. Let her think he is dead. Let her think that he doesn't know. “Will you return back?” Hux asks. “Will you become the King?” Ren looks at him shocked. “I've always wished to rule,” Hux admits. “I never will.” Ren says nothing. But he imagines things. He imagines Hux in a golden gown with a crown upon his head. He suddenly wants to take him home. Take the throne and crown himself with Hux by his side. It's just a fleeting feeling. He pushes that thought aside. “Sleep,” he says instead. He wishes for the morning to never come.

 ***

The sky is light blue. The color of the frost. Ren is shaking in his thick clothes. “Go,” Hux calls after him. He is not far away from the Wall. The redhead's cheeks are flushed from the harsh wind. Only now Ren realizes how thin Hux really is. He is just skin and bones hidden beneath thick layers of furs. “Go home.”

The smile crossing Hux's lips is a sad one. “Come with me,” Ren whispers. But it's a stupid wish. Hux cannot return with him and they both know it. Hux is a Wildling. He doesn't belong to Ren's world. They should be enemies. Ren should kill him here and now and leave his body forever frozen in the snow. But the thought of Hux dying makes him feel sick.

Hux comes closer and kisses him. It's just a brief touch of their lips. It doesn't last for long. “Go,” he tells Ren once more. His lips are shaking. Ren touches the side of his face and Hux leans into his touch. He wants to touch Hux, hold him close. Ren tries to memorize the way his hair burn in the rising sun. He swears to himself he will never forget his glittering eyes. The small smile that forms on Hux's lips. “It's not fair,” he says in the end.

“Don't be stupid.”

"We should have stayed in the forest."

A lonely tear rolls down Hux's cheek and freezes there. Ren watches it closely. “I will come back for you. When I am the King. I will find you. I will ruin the Wall and kill the White Walkers just to get to you.” Hux nods in answer. Neither of them dares to hope it will happen.

“I'll try to stay alive long enough for it to happen,” Hux says in the end. "You know nothing, Kylo Ren." Then he takes a step back and then another. He starts running away. Ren watches him until his figure disappears. Then he falls on his knees and starts crying. Tears are hot on his cheeks. They are burning his skin. He stares at his fingers. “HUX!”

The redhead doesn't come back. It takes Ren hours to understand that. He stands up and starts walking away. The ghost of Hux's lips left bruises on Ren's skin.

 ***

 “You are a lucky bastard,” Finn tells him after they found him, half-alive and half-dead. Mad from grief. He wakes up days later in a bed. “You are the only one that came back.” The warm smile appears on Finn's lips.

“I wouldn't call it luck,” Ren mumbles and accepts a bowl of warm soup. He eats it greedily. His hands are shaking as he does. “I saw them,” he says once he's finished. “The White Walkers.” Finn looks strangely at him and then laughs.

“Those are just stories.”

“Not anymore.” Finn's face pales. He makes an attempt to say something but no words come out of his mouth. Ren lies back down and stares in front of himself. He starts crying then. He hears as Finn calls out his name.

“What happened?” Finn asks. Ren shakes his head and chokes on his sobs. He feels cold, without Hux by his side.

“I need to return back home,” Ren says. “I need to kill the King.”

 ***

 He is crowned on a sunny afternoon. His eyes are cold and hands no longer shaking. His sister is standing by his side. She is holding a small boy with Ren's eyes. “He is your son,” she told him after he pushed his sword through Poe's heart and ended his life. “He is your heir.” Ren doesn't love the child. He cannot look at his sister. Something about her disgust him. Every time he lies with her, he thinks of Hux, of his red hair and his warm skin. He misses his touch, his throaty moans. Rey never sounds the same.

He will return back, he thinks. Back to snow and howling wind. He can already imagine Hux by his side, holding his hand. He can see the red hair burning in the sun. For now, it's Rey who smiles at him softly and he smiles back. But he is not satisfied. Not really. Not yet.

**Author's Note:**

> The creature is standing in front of him, made of black fingers and pale cheeks and bright blue eyes. They are watching him hungrily. The color is too unnatural, too bright. But all Ren sees are strands of coppery hair. The White Walker makes a low keening voice and starts moving forward quietly. It's holding a long pointed dagger in one hand. Ren raises his sword in the air but it's not him who kills it. Phasma is faster. Her weapon opens up the creature's chest and it falls on the ground, first on its knees and then on its back. It stops moving altogether. Ren watches it for a moment and then nods at Phasma in silent thanks.  
> He comes closer. Red hair. Kissed by fire. He remembers the soft touch of warm fingers. There is no blood in the snow. The Walker's wearing a thin layer of clothes, torn into shreds in some places. There are long cuts in its abdomen and its left hand is missing. Ren can see white lips pressed into a thin line and eyes staring into nothingness. He kneels down, brushes Walker's red hair and kisses its frozen lips. Then he stands up. The tip of his boot kicks into the unmoving body. For a moment he feared it was Hux, that they got him. He smiles faintly and looks into the distance. Hux is still somewhere there and he is alive, he must be. Because Ren is coming for him.


End file.
